Saturday, March 15, 2008

Project Say Something: ‘Cuz I’m an Idiot

"We've all done stupid things in our lives. (Don't deny it, you were a teenager once too!) What's one of the stupidest things you've ever done? Tell us all about it! (Or if you're like me and have a ginormous LIST of them, just pick a few :) )"

If there has ever been any question of my genius, let me clear that up right now. I got a new cell phone Friday night. I spent a couple of hours setting it up and fiddling around with it. I didn’t bother “learning” anything about the phone. I just put my contacts in, added my most frequently called numbers, and called it good. Saturday I went to the mall. I tried to call my husband from my frequently called numbers list. It went to my voicemail. I tried again to make sure I wasn’t just crazy. Nope, same thing. A few possibilities went through my head since I know nothing about the phone. I had thought maybe I had just typed his number in incorrectly (our numbers are only one digit different), but of course I couldn’t be *that* stupid. So after trying and testing a few things, I actually started looking into it. Yep, sure enough, I was, in fact, *that* stupid.

Is this the stupidest thing I have ever done? Not by a long shot.

I seem to have a knack for doing stupid things. An old pro. And while I do have a list of them, I sure do have one that takes the cake for all of them. Not one I like to admit, not one I like to talk about (for so many reasons other than the pure STUPID factor).

The summer I was twenty, I naively, stupidly, in a complete loss of all rationale, logic, smarts, common sense and whatever else, got on a plane to Portland, Oregon to meet some guy I’d been chatting online with for a while. A LITTLE while. I’m not talking lots of months or years. I’m talking in weeks. Aside from all the other reasons this was incredibly stupid, reasons I don’t need to go into here, seriously – DUMBEST thing ever. I knew next to nothing about the guy. I could have been flying off to meet a complete psychopath, serial killer. What did I know? Young people are insane. They want something, they ignore all rationale and reason and get it. Doesn’t matter how incredibly stupid it is. It wasn’t until I got there that I thought (in the terms of safety), “What the HELL am I thinking????”

Obviously he wasn’t a psychopath serial killer (well, he very well could have been a psychopath, he did turn out to be kind of a nutjob in the end.) and I lived to tell the tale. But looking back over my life, of all the HUNDREDS of stupid things I can say I’ve done, that would be the worst.

It makes all the backing into things, head shaving, walking away from things that shouldn’t be walked away from, not selling stock worth something, relationship screw-ups, dumb-ass decisions I’ve made look like I really am a pure genius. Even if I can’t type a phone number correctly.

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