Thursday, May 21, 2009

Toddler Stories

Up first, we finally got Miss Monster a toddler bed. This poor kid and her bed issues. She's always a little behind the times because our lives have been so ridiculous - and LAME - since having her. So, yeah, it's a bit late but she's out of a crib, she's out of a pack-n-play and she's out of random other peoples' makeshift beds for her. It's her very own big girl bed. And she loves it. Problem is, apparently, she doesn't love sleeping like a normal human in her bed. That, or maybe she's already grown out of it and it's time for a new bed. (Wouldn't surprise me but it'll be late too.) A few mornings this week when I have gone in to check on her when I get up, she has been barely in her bed at all. She hasn't "fallen out," she isn't sleeping on the floor, she's just kind of "dangling." Case in point:
This was Tuesday morning:
This one makes sense. She flails in her sleep, sure, her legs draping off is completely understandable. But this???

What did she do? Wake up and decide to pray to the sleep gods that she would go back to sleep quickly and they listened? This is how I found her Wednesday morning.
I look forward to waking up in the mornings (oh who am I kidding?? Nothing could make me look forward to waking up in the mornings but at least this makes it partially amusing and bearable) to see what new contortion she has managed to get herself in to throughout the night.
Secondly, the stories that make the other moms think twice about letting their kids hang out with mine!
Night before last she was playing on her dad's computer chair twirling away, happily and kindly chanting, "Mommy, I hate you." It's a phrase she picked up from daycare, I'm not thrilled about it but she says it so kindly and pleasantly it's obvious she has no idea what she's saying. (I know that won't last long.) So I kindly and pleasantly tell her it's not a really nice thing to say, please don't use that word. Blah blah blah. Of course, when she gets babbling I rarely pay full attention so sometimes it takes me a while to realize what she's saying. So after a few minutes of that and I recognize it, she moves on to something else. A few minutes into that I again start to realize what she's saying, it finally registers, "Mommy? I want to say 'oh dammit.'" She'd been saying it over and over a few times before I picked up on it and then once I heard it... well I couldn't do what I wanted to do!!!! I wanted to burst out laughing but I figured that was probably not the appropriate response to something I'd rather she STOP DOING! So we had the not nice conversation again and she gave up...
But then!!
Last night we were driving down to the store, she burped and said "excuse me." Right on, my kid has manners! So she points out, "Mommy, I said excuse me!" So I tell her yes, that was very nice of her, that is good manners. And she responds, "Yep! I didn't say 'oh dammit'."

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm a Little Behind in Life

A very long time ago (and I mean very, very) I played along in an interview thing Bethany Actually was doing over on her site. It was a long time ago. I'm finally getting around to answering her questions and feel awful that it took me so stinking long.
1. What do you miss most about Northern Virginia? What do you like most about Utah?

Everything but the traffic. Which I get plenty of here as well so there's not a lot to miss. But in truth, there really are specific things I desperately miss about Northern VA that I don't (can't/won't/whatever) get here. I miss the friends I made there. I feel they are people who are much more like me and who I want to be than I will ever find again. It was nice having a huge social group, my age, who all had kids my daughter's age who were very accepting and nice and very, very intelligent who also had similar lifestyles and goals as we had. Not saying those people don't exist here, but for Utah, I am an 'old' mother. People here start having kids in their early twenties. I was almost 30. So it's hard to find people who "get" the lifestyle we have to live right now with a toddler and another on the way. People here also tend to be of one mindset or another - Mormon or very anti-Mormon. There are few in-between. That is very difficult for me. So, missing the social circle is a big one. I very much miss the weather (even the humidity if you can believe that!) and the landscape. I loved all the trees and the green and the wildflowers that would grow in the medians of the divided highways. I miss the shopping. I miss the restaurants. Oh, how I miss the restaurants. That's a big one. And not even the fancy-schmancy restaurants but the simple sandwich/salad shops. The thing I miss the most though is being able to have a million things to do at my fingertips that were FREE. Sure, it took a while to get in to DC but to be able to get there and have a million kid-friendly options to do without having to pay an arm and a leg was awesome. Granted, there were just as many things to do that did cost a bit but there were things! Here I feel like the selection is very, very minimal and the cost is so very not worth it. Which is odd given it's touted as such a "family-friendly" state and probably has the most kids per family of anywhere in the world. But whatever. Not to be completely down on Utah (I still am having a pretty difficult time here which I never expected but, what can yah do?), there are things I like about being here. I like that it doesn't take a plane ticket and hours and hours worth of travel to visit my sister and her kids. I like that if I wanted to, I could pack up and head home for the weekend at any point. Okay, so I guess there is only the one thing, which is what brought us back here anyway and that is the proximity to family. We did choose (I say "we" meaning "Dan" but you get the picture) to live a bit further away from family than I think we originally had in mind but it's closer than a 4-hour plane ride!

2. I had my daughter a month early too. Totally took us by surprise; we didn't even have diapers in the house! Even almost five years later I sometimes feel like we're perpetually a month behind schedule. Did your daughter's birth take you guys by surprise too? What do you most wish you had been able to do with that last month that you didn't get to do?
It absolutely took us by surprise. Given Dan was in Utah because we were so very much not planning on *that* early and we had NOTHING in the house or set up or ready in any way.
I would have liked to have had a little more time to figure out what we wanted to do with her room. Or, you know, be able to give her a room. She didn't get her room until she was probably 6ish months old. She was going to be taking over my computer/craft room and it was very much still my computer/craft room because I had all the time in the world. Then, of course, once she showed up, there was no time or chance to do anything about it. So I would have like to have had a baby's room to bring the baby home to. And a crib. We didn't even have a crib. Or changing table. Or, well, much of anything that I guess all fits under the umbrella of "baby's room." I would have liked to have had the time to do a little more obsessing and freaking out, honestly. And I would have liked to have had the chance to go in to DC for the 4th of July. That was the plan that year but that got scratched really fast when considering we had a 3-week old infant by then. Though being seven months pregnant now, I have to admit I'm not all that heartbroken to have missed the most miserable part of the pregnancy - that last month when nothing in the world is comfortable and there is only misery.

3. You say you like laughably bad movies. What's your favorite bad movie? Do you also like quality movies (like, Oscar-nominated ones), or can't you be bothered?
I love movies. Just big, generic, broad statement there. I love all types of movies. I say I love bad movies because everyone makes fun of me for it. I love the good movies probably more but I have to invest a piece of myself in those. And I do. I am a highly sensitive, emotional person who gets so wrapped up in and personalizes everything that the deep thought-provoking movies really do take an emotional toll on me. But I find I do love them the best. I just can only handle them in moderation. However, give me a bad movie and I can watch it over and over and over because there is no emotional involvement on my part and I don't even have to pay a ton of attention to it. That's why I really like them, I can put them on as background noise while I do other things and actually get other things done. So that's what it's about. I love good, "quality" movies, I just use the bad ones to get things done.

4. What's the worst job you ever had?
Hahahaha. This is such a great question and one that I would totally love to delve in to and give a completely clear picture of how bad it was and to what level and degree and why it ruined my life/sense of self/outlook/etc., etc. But I'm not going to do that. It was the last job I had before moving back to Utah. I'm sure a lot of people would claim the "worst job" is something that they hated doing or that was inconvenient or bad timing or you know - some teenage/college job to get by for a week or two. But my "worst job" truly broke my spirit and stole my soul. And it was doing a job I loved and am VERY good at. It made me never want to do it again. As well as question every skill, every effort, every ability, and every motivation I have ever had. It made me terrified to go back to work for anyone else in any capacity. Still, 8 months later (and having landed another job) I question my abilities.

5. If you were a character in a TV show, who would you be?
I have to admit, I haven't watched hardly any TV in the past year so I don't know that I can appropriately answer this question. Even in trying to think of TV I used to watch or television past, I kind of just draw a blank. This, coming from one of the biggest appointment TV freaks of all time... Stopped watching TV? What's wrong with me? I don't know... To my what - 3? readers out there, peg me (be delicate with my poor, little baby feelings! Remember, I am a hormonal basketcase!!!!!) - which TV character am I most like?

And, in keeping with the spirit (or rules, rather), I will even offer to (months later) interview anyone else who wants to play along...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Coming Out of Denial

I think I have finally accepted that we have another baby on the way. So far, I've pretty much been going through the motions: taking the vitamins and supplements, visiting the doctor, buying the huge-belly clothes, getting annoyed at the non-stop kicks and flutters in my stomach - but never really admitting that there is another baby in this gigantic belly of mine or that we're going to have another kid to clothe/feed/keep us up at night.

In trying to get moved in to this tiny house we have, something just clicked this weekend and I realized I need to start getting these rooms ready for kids. Madeleine's room is a disaster. We've lived here four weeks and she's still in her pack and play as a bed and has toys scattered everywhere because we haven't bothered to put her room together. Part of it is because we were planning originally on putting her back in her crib for a while and then on a whim decided to just bite the bullet and get her a bed. Which meant her room needed to get cleaned up enough to move the crib from her mess to the other mess in the other room.
So I did that. The crib is now in the "Other Baby's" room (that's her name for now, by the way. We can't come up with anything better so that's what we're calling her), where it should have been all along. And I moved the bookshelf in there and the baby monitor and the more baby stuff I started putting in that room, the more I realized, holy crap - we've got a baby comin'.
Madeleine has been talking more and more about her "baby sister" and is so excited about the idea. I bet she has a major change of heart once she realizes what she's been talking about, but for now, she can't wait to share her toys and clothes and be so helpful and teach her all sorts of things. Seriously, endless conversations about what she's going to do with and for her baby sister.
I haven't bothered doing any shopping for this one yet (another form of my denial) but Madeleine put an end to that this weekend. She had about five outfits in her hand at the store this weekend insisting Baby Sister *needed* each of them. So I caved and let her buy one. And I honestly think that was the moment of truth. It was then it hit me that there is a baby coming - and soon - and still doesn't even have a name. Maybe that's why I've kept myself in denial. I just don't want to name this one. If she had a name, she'd be more real. Right? Either way, I need to get a move on with all this baby stuff. I've ignored it for too long and now feel like I will not ever be ready. And we're too close to there!