Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Natural Parenting Fears

Now that I have a child, the one thing I want to do more than anything in the world is be a mom. If I am responsible for her, I would like to be the one responsible for her. (Meaning: if she learns something horrible at day care, I’m still responsible for it. So I would just rather be the one teaching her the horrible tricks myself.) I realize that’s not an option for us at this point and I come to terms with that daily. (Which, yes, means I get all pissy about it daily as well.) But that’s what I want.

And yet…

The one thing that scares me more than anything in the world? Raising a freaking child. Oh my holy cows! I just sat through a “Raising an Ethical Child” parenting class. There are too many things that can go wrong, too many ways I can fail. It’s simply terrifying. Sure, I can deal with “toddler.” But a child? A teenager? What the hell was I thinking??

And then… As I was walking out of the doctor’s office this afternoon, overhearing one of the doctor’s reading a study from his computer screen to the nurses standing around that 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD. I think I wanna go cry now.

Suddenly, I’m taking comfort in being able to place blame for her insanity, her misbehaviors, her brattiness on day care.*

*She has a wonderful day care. I am not saying they are doing anything wrong or damaging her in any way. In truth, they are why she is so well-behaved. I sure as hell haven’t had anything to do with that!

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