Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Project Say Something: Possibly Why I Don't Trust Anyone

There are a number of them and I don't know which one is actually the "earliest" so I will share a few of them.

All happened in Germany so they took place between the ages of 2 and 4. I don't recall these memories from stories I have been told or pictures I have seen but I remember these things actually happening. I don't remember much from my life but these will stay with me forever. Read on and you'll quite likely see why...

My parents left me with one of their friends while they went out for the night. He took me out on his balcony with my "bapper" (pacifier for those of you not "in the know") in my mouth. He pulled it from my mouth and said, "You don't need this anymore." With that, he threw it over the edge of the balcony and it was gone.

The next two stories are both recounted here. The giant story is told in full but let me elaborate on the dog story a bit... It's true, I hate going to sleep at nights. I just might miss something. I've been that way all my life. Of course, once I get to sleep, boy, do I hate waking up. When I was little, my parents tried EVERYTHING. Including terrible, awful, you shouldn't tell a child because it will scar them for life threats. There were two large dogs that lived in the apartment above ours. I used to remember what kind of dogs they were but that part of the memory has finally faded. We would pass them in the stairwells during the day. Pretty sure they were both bigger than I was at the time. So some nights, when I absolutely refused to go to sleep and was making life miserable for everyone, my parents would use the dogs as motivators. It rarely worked. While you may think that's a terrible thing to do to a child, shut up, who doesn't tell horrible stories to children at one time or another? I got over it. And now think it's funny as hell. Great story to give my parents a hard time about any and every chance I get.

My grandma came to visit once while we lived over there and she took my mom to Paris with her. I was so angry. First, she was taking my mom away. But second, and most importantly, they were going to see the "big building" and *I* wanted to see it! They were going without me and I would miss out! The "big building?" The Eiffel Tower. And I'm still, to this day, bitter that I didn't get to go see the "big building." (Likely because it's the only chance I would ever get in my life and they STOLE it from me! How rude, right? Can you imagine traveling like that with a toddler?? Yeah. Me neither anymore.) After they returned, we set out on a camping trip. We were driving a van, going to a few different countries, seeing sights and camping at nights. I remember Madurodam in Amsterdam very well. I was bigger than the planes! It was so very cool. I remember something about wooden shoes in Holland. I remember fishing. But mostly (and here it is again, the parents traumatizing the poor little girl who can't won't sleep) I remember the van breaking down and we had to spend the night in a field on some guy's farm and my parents told me that if I didn't go to sleep, the farmer was going to come get me.

Yeah, these are my earliest memories. Fun stuff, huh? And I wonder why I can be such a nutjob at times...

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