If you could go back to
any point in your life - not to change anything but just to experience/enjoy
it/whatever - again, when would it be?
I think it would be my
senior year in high school. Not because high school was anything great, hello!
It was high school. But because that's when I started to really figure out who
I am. And I learned it was okay to worry about me and care about me and that it
was okay to be a little selfish and to look out for myself and to truly stand
up for myself. It was also the first time I really recognized - or
acknowledged, maybe - what happiness felt like. It was a big issue for me that
year for some reason. Very focused on how happy I was not. And then one night,
after a long conversation about it with some friends, I remember driving around
in the dark in a snow storm. The night was so bright and the world was covered
in a fresh layer of bright white snow and in driving around in that, in seeing
everything covered so perfectly and beautifully, I felt - maybe recognized -
for the first time ever a feeling of complete content, that everything was okay
and right and beautiful. Even me. To have that exact feeling again - ESPECIALLY
right now - would be awesome. That was when I started the never-ending process
of self-evaluation, of always searching for ways to make me better. And I
realized it was okay if I cared about that, about me instead of everyone else
first. It was the year I did the most growing up (though I am the first one to
admit to the people I knew then that it certainly wasn't enough) and the most
changing. There were a lot of wonderful things that happened that year, and a
number of not so wonderful things as well. But I would go back to it just to
remind myself when I need it that I am worth something, that I am good at
something, that there simply is value there when I lose it. It's one time in my
life that that all become very clear, very easily to me. 
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