Monday, May 4, 2009

Coming Out of Denial

I think I have finally accepted that we have another baby on the way. So far, I've pretty much been going through the motions: taking the vitamins and supplements, visiting the doctor, buying the huge-belly clothes, getting annoyed at the non-stop kicks and flutters in my stomach - but never really admitting that there is another baby in this gigantic belly of mine or that we're going to have another kid to clothe/feed/keep us up at night.

In trying to get moved in to this tiny house we have, something just clicked this weekend and I realized I need to start getting these rooms ready for kids. Madeleine's room is a disaster. We've lived here four weeks and she's still in her pack and play as a bed and has toys scattered everywhere because we haven't bothered to put her room together. Part of it is because we were planning originally on putting her back in her crib for a while and then on a whim decided to just bite the bullet and get her a bed. Which meant her room needed to get cleaned up enough to move the crib from her mess to the other mess in the other room.
So I did that. The crib is now in the "Other Baby's" room (that's her name for now, by the way. We can't come up with anything better so that's what we're calling her), where it should have been all along. And I moved the bookshelf in there and the baby monitor and the more baby stuff I started putting in that room, the more I realized, holy crap - we've got a baby comin'.
Madeleine has been talking more and more about her "baby sister" and is so excited about the idea. I bet she has a major change of heart once she realizes what she's been talking about, but for now, she can't wait to share her toys and clothes and be so helpful and teach her all sorts of things. Seriously, endless conversations about what she's going to do with and for her baby sister.
I haven't bothered doing any shopping for this one yet (another form of my denial) but Madeleine put an end to that this weekend. She had about five outfits in her hand at the store this weekend insisting Baby Sister *needed* each of them. So I caved and let her buy one. And I honestly think that was the moment of truth. It was then it hit me that there is a baby coming - and soon - and still doesn't even have a name. Maybe that's why I've kept myself in denial. I just don't want to name this one. If she had a name, she'd be more real. Right? Either way, I need to get a move on with all this baby stuff. I've ignored it for too long and now feel like I will not ever be ready. And we're too close to there! 

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