Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Project Say Something: My Dream Do-Over

The list I could make here would be huge. I'm not one of those people to tout "I have no regrets," or "everything I've done has led me to where I am so I wouldn't change a thing." Load of crap. There will always be things I wish I could change, no matter where it landed me in the end.

I wouldn't have flaked out and given up during the National Qualifying debate tournament my senior year.
I wouldn't have cared so much about what people thought of me because those people don't matter in the long run anyway.
I wouldn't have left Salt Lake the first time I moved out there.
I wouldn't have just walked away from countless friendships and people because it wasn't easy or convenient for me.
I wouldn't have completely destroyed the entire rest of my life the summer of '97.
I wouldn't have waited so long to have kids.
I wouldn't have quit school without getting the damn degree I've probably paid for three times over by not getting one.
I wouldn't let myself get beaten down time and time again.
I would have traveled a whole lot more when I was a whole lot younger.
I would let toxic relationships die.
I would be more honest and speak my mind a whole lot more.
I would tell people how I really feel, not what they want to hear or are afraid of hearing.
I would have wasted a lot less time in an absolutely miserable situation because I was terrified of the alternative (hey, I'm there now and it's not so bad. I wasted 6 months for that.)

But the number one thing I would change if given the chance to go back and do so - I know there are a lot of answers I should have for this, and there are some answers some people would say would be better - but the one thing I would change, in a heartbeat, given everything else that has happened (read: stupid decisions I've made), I NEVER would have left my job in March.

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