Toddler Stories

Up first, we finally got Miss Monster a toddler bed. This poor kid and her bed issues. She's always a little behind the times because our lives have been so ridiculous - and LAME - since having her. So, yeah, it's a bit late but she's out of a crib, she's out of a pack-n-play and she's out of random other peoples' makeshift beds for her. It's her very own big girl bed. And she loves it. Problem is, apparently, she doesn't love sleeping like a normal human in her bed. That, or maybe she's already grown out of it and it's time for a new bed. (Wouldn't surprise me but it'll be late too.) A few mornings this week when I have gone in to check on her when I get up, she has been barely in her bed at all. She hasn't "fallen out," she isn't sleeping on the floor, she's just kind of "dangling." Case in point:

This was Tuesday morning:

This one makes sense. She flails in her sleep, sure, her legs draping off is completely understandable. But this???

What did she do? Wake up and decide to pray to the sleep gods that she would go back to sleep quickly and they listened? This is how I found her Wednesday morning.

I look forward to waking up in the mornings (oh who am I kidding?? Nothing could make me look forward to waking up in the mornings but at least this makes it partially amusing and bearable) to see what new contortion she has managed to get herself in to throughout the night.

Secondly, the stories that make the other moms think twice about letting their kids hang out with mine!

Night before last she was playing on her dad's computer chair twirling away, happily and kindly chanting, "Mommy, I hate you." It's a phrase she picked up from daycare, I'm not thrilled about it but she says it so kindly and pleasantly it's obvious she has no idea what she's saying. (I know that won't last long.) So I kindly and pleasantly tell her it's not a really nice thing to say, please don't use that word. Blah blah blah. Of course, when she gets babbling I rarely pay full attention so sometimes it takes me a while to realize what she's saying. So after a few minutes of that and I recognize it, she moves on to something else. A few minutes into that I again start to realize what she's saying, it finally registers, "Mommy? I want to say 'oh dammit.'" She'd been saying it over and over a few times before I picked up on it and then once I heard it... well I couldn't do what I wanted to do!!!! I wanted to burst out laughing but I figured that was probably not the appropriate response to something I'd rather she STOP DOING! So we had the not nice conversation again and she gave up...

But then!!

Last night we were driving down to the store, she burped and said "excuse me." Right on, my kid has manners! So she points out, "Mommy, I said excuse me!" So I tell her yes, that was very nice of her, that is good manners. And she responds, "Yep! I didn't say 'oh dammit'."