Project Say Something: Playing Some Serious Catch-up

I'm not even going to bother splitting them up into multiple posts. If I don't post them now, I never will. And I kinda want to move on...

Share with us an event or person that early in your life helped shape who you are today?

I've been looking back trying to find a specific event or person that I can call out as having shpaed who I am now. What I'm really looking for is something to blame for how I've turned out. Jealous, bitter, dissatisfied, angry, unsuccessful, complete lack of self-confidence, unmotivated, overly-emotional and sensitive, hateful, lost, confused, and frustrated. I have only myself to blame. I know that. But where did I get the traits that allowed those nasty pieces of me to take over and sabatoge every piece of me? I don't know. What I do know is that I do credit my high school debate coach and a friend I had my senior year in high school for a lot of the good pieces. That I, of course, promptly turned bad. But the good pieces that gave me any strength or interest in the person I am or want to be, the desire to try to understand and someday have fixed all that is broken in me, I'll credit to them.

What two things could you do when you were a child that you can't do now?
And of course the flip side to that...
What two things could you not do when you were a child but you can do now?

Eat and not gain a ton of weight as soon as it hits my mouth.
Talk on the phone for hours and hours and hours.
Text, email, chat. Cuz now I HATE the phone.
Drive.

"If you had a good friend who was in a bad relationship, would you say something or keep your mouth shut? Why did you choose what you did?"

Bad as in abusive and hurtful? Or I just don't like the guy cuz he's an ass?
Oh wait. I guess there's not really a difference. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about stuff like that. I like to bitch and complain, if you've not noticed. But in seriousness, I think a friend should say his/her piece and then butt out. It's not your relationship, it's not your life and short of your friend putting his/her life at risk by staying with the person, say what you need and be done.

What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? Would you ever do it yourself? Why or why not.

I am terrified of any type of surgery because of the pain, the recovery, and the scars. So that requires me to answer "No!" because I really think that fear would keep me away from caving in to it regardless of the circumstances. However, I am not morally opposed to it. In moderation. Nicole Kidman was an amazingly beautiful woman. It breaks my heart to look at her now. She looks plastic. A figment of her old, natural self. I need some expression in my beauty. Even if that means some wrinkles and loose skin. However, as I look in the mirror lately, I think to myself, "huh, I wonder if botox would really help at all." So botox and a breast reduction. Someday. Maybe. I might be able to do those. But the pain and the recovery and the scars (and the cost!!) send me running from the idea of the latter. But someday... maybe...

This is a three part question Essay, philosophy, and art.
First the essay - write a letter to your 12 year old self based on your life experiences and knowledge you have now. What advice would you give?

Yo!

Chill! Seriously. Don't take things so seriously. Especially yourself. Boys are lame and useless and most importantly, so not worth it. Wait until they are. It'll only be a few years and you'll meet a few who are completely worth it. Don't waste your emotions and energies on these nimrods. Also? School? Hello. Pay attention. Care a little bit more. Unlike boys, it really does matter. Maybe not as much as they try to tell you it does (seriously, math? You can get by without being a genius in it so don't stress so much over it), but it does matter a whole lot. Because you have to go to college. And actually GET the degree. A four-year one. In anything. Just do it. I know you're planning on it, but sometimes life gets in the way of your plans and desires. Don't let it. YOU are what matters. Oh - and by the way, that can apply to every single stinking part of your life. Accept it. Embrace it. And in twenty years, when someone tries to get you to leave your perfect job - tell them to STICK IT!

P.S. Keep a journal! Trust me.

Philosophy question in honor of Darwin- If a man evolved from apes and monkeys then why do we still have those animals around?

To remind us where we came from?

Art question - What piece of music, art, architecture best represents your view of yourself?

I think this one can pretty much sum things up lately.
(I would love to take these seriously because that would be very insightful but... that's just not in my nature)

Have you had a best and/or worst Valentine's Day? Tell us about it/them...

It was relevant at the time I asked it, I swear. I don't remember a worst but I can guarantee I've had them. I'll just go ahead and say this year's was the best. Since Dan and I weren't living together at the time, it was just nice to have a reason to come out and spend the weekend with him. Of course it helped he gave me amazing flowers and even more amazing chocolate covered strawberries but even more amazing and what made it the most awesome was that he did it entirely on his own. I always have to nag him about holidays - which makes me hate holidays. But he did this one all by himself (as far as I know, anyway and I'll kill the person who tells me otherwise). So the fact that he made the effort, that he had a plan, made it the best ever.