There are a number of
them and I don't know which one is actually the "earliest" so I will
share a few of them.
All happened in Germany
so they took place between the ages of 2 and 4. I don't recall these memories
from stories I have been told or pictures I have seen but I remember these
things actually happening. I don't remember much from my life but these will
stay with me forever. Read on and you'll quite likely see why...
My parents left me with
one of their friends while they went out for the night. He took me out on his
balcony with my "bapper" (pacifier for those of you not "in the
know") in my mouth. He pulled it from my mouth and said, "You don't
need this anymore." With that, he threw it over the edge of the balcony
and it was gone.
The next two stories are
both recounted here. The giant story is told
in full but let me elaborate on the dog story a bit... It's true, I hate going
to sleep at nights. I just might miss something. I've been that way all my
life. Of course, once I get to sleep, boy, do I hate waking up. When I was
little, my parents tried EVERYTHING. Including terrible, awful, you shouldn't
tell a child because it will scar them for life threats. There were two large
dogs that lived in the apartment above ours. I used to remember what kind of
dogs they were but that part of the memory has finally faded. We would pass
them in the stairwells during the day. Pretty sure they were both bigger than I
was at the time. So some nights, when I absolutely refused to go to sleep and
was making life miserable for everyone, my parents would use the dogs as
motivators. It rarely worked. While you may think that's a terrible thing to do
to a child, shut up, who doesn't tell horrible stories to children at one time
or another? I got over it. And now think it's funny as hell. Great story to
give my parents a hard time about any and every chance I get.
My grandma came to visit
once while we lived over there and she took my mom to Paris with her. I was so
angry. First, she was taking my mom away. But second, and most importantly,
they were going to see the "big building" and *I* wanted to see it!
They were going without me and I would miss out! The "big building?"
The Eiffel Tower. And I'm still, to this day, bitter that I didn't get to go
see the "big building." (Likely because it's the only chance I would
ever get in my life and they STOLE it from me! How rude, right? Can you imagine
traveling like that with a toddler?? Yeah. Me neither anymore.) After they
returned, we set out on a camping trip. We were driving a van, going to a few
different countries, seeing sights and camping at nights. I remember Madurodam in Amsterdam very well.
I was bigger than the planes! It was so very cool. I remember something about
wooden shoes in Holland. I remember fishing. But mostly (and here it is again,
the parents traumatizing the poor little girl who can't won't sleep) I
remember the van breaking down and we had to spend the night in a field on some
guy's farm and my parents told me that if I didn't go to sleep, the farmer was
going to come get me.
Yeah, these are my
earliest memories. Fun stuff, huh? And I wonder why I can be such a nutjob at
times...
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